I Let Life Get In The Way.

I let life get in the way.

It raced through and robbed me of my first love — writing. I wanted to speak my truth but self-doubt talked me out of it. I wanted to put pen to paper but fear of failure blocked me. I wanted to write, damn it.

A damaging assumption took root in my mind that made me believe every time I sat down to write, it needed to be some profound and earth-shattering prose that had to evoke some sort of emotion in every reader.

That shit is crippling. And nine times out of 10, it was the easiest way to turn me off from writing down even one word.

I can’t really pinpoint when or where it happened. Maybe it was the upset and excitement that comes from switching jobs. Or the overwhelming anxiety of moving across state lines and compromising my solitude in the process.

It also could’ve been the hopelessness and despair that resurfaces every time another person of color becomes a hashtag, or that it’s becoming increasingly apparent America is headed in reverse.

I can’t really pinpoint when or where it happened, but it siphoned out what remaining desire I had to create.

I sat on my words for months, sprinkling in half-hearted journal entries when the thoughts crowding my head space were too loud to carry.

But now I’m sick of giving the shitty shades of life so much power. The self-sabotage; the anxiety of not realizing my potential; the comparison to the next writer — which is always followed by a blow to my confidence.

I’m finding my way of wading through the mess and creating in spite of it.

On Shying Away From My Blog

I’ve been out of my element for a while.

Letting life get in the way. Feeling uncertain and uncomfortable about a lot of things and unsure of the best way to make sense of it all.Shy

I could have sounded off here on Crissi Untangled, especially since that was one of the main reasons I decided to create this space, but I just found it easier to shy away from it.

I’m now at a point where I need to reclaim my space. I’ve been too hard on myself for too long.

My fear, insecurities and self-doubt are supposed to be checked at the door. Somewhere along the way I forgot that.

This is where I’m supposed to pour it all on the page. This is the vehicle through which I’m navigating my place and purpose on this Earth. This is my refuge, my respite, my retreat from the bullshit that often infiltrates my mind and interrupts my peace.

Well, the bullshit was working overtime and becoming overwhelming. And I needed a breather.

I think I’ve finally caught my breath for the most part.

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Goals for the Week of Jan. 5

Happy New Year and Happy Monday, y’all! I hope everyone is enjoying 2015 so far. Time to get back to the grind!

Here are my goals for this week:

Weekly Goals1. Brainstorm column ideas.

I’ve previously mentioned that one of my goals for the year is to start a series, and now I want to add to that goal by also creating a column. I haven’t decided if it will be weekly or biweekly, but I’m aiming to get that figured out this week. I would love to kick-start the column in February.

2. Finish reading “Her Crown.”

The e-book “Her Crown: A Journey to Self-Love from a Girl to a Queen” from Shana Bea and J. Chavae is a God-send. I’m only about a third of the way through it but it’s filled with so many gems about carrying oneself as a queen. It’s a wonderful reminder of the importance of walking in confidence, knowing your worth and wearing your crown at all times, no matter what tests come your way.

3. Write and publish two more posts.

Posting at least three times a week is a recurring goal of mine and I feel like writing (or typing) it out is pushing me to continuously reach that goal. One of the main things I’m working on with the blog is consistency, and posting regularly is a major part of that.

4. Resume my workout regimen.

Ummm … yeah. I haven’t seen anybody’s gym in about two weeks so going back will undoubtedly SUCK. But I have fitness ambitions and there’s only one way I can make those a reality. Pray for me, y’all.

What are you up to this week?

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Confessions of a New Brown Girl Blogger

I’m just shy of tScreen Shot 2014-12-30 at 7.17.26 PMwo months into blogging, but I have learned several lessons and can already tell I have much more to learn. While I didn’t decide to create a blog as a path to fame or fortune – but as an outlet and a way to connect with others who could relate to my personal experiences – I’ll admit my expectations may have been a bit outrageous at times.

Continue reading my guest post on Brown Girl Bloggers.

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Ten Questions

Here’s some great Sunday evening news: I’ve been nominated for the “Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award!” Many, many thanks to Minnie of Life in 100 Words for her nomination; it’s my first Sisterhoodone. I’m basking in love and support over here!

As part of the nomination, Minnie gave me 10 questions to answer. I had a lot of fun with these:

1. Why do you blog?

I decided to create Crissi Untangled because I grew tired of internalizing my feelings and thoughts. I didn’t want my self-doubt to keep crippling me. Blogging is a way to prove to myself that my voice matters and to connect with others who can relate to my experiences.

2. Celebrity crush?

Big K.R.I.T.; ain’t nothing like a Southern dude. ♥

3. Any hidden talents?

I can cross one eye at a time. (Does that really count as a talent, though? Lol!)

4. What’s the hardest aspect of being a writer/blogger?

Being consistent.

5. Favorite TV show?

“Pretty Little Liars.” Been down since Day One.

6. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Being my own boss.

7. Favorite book?

“Gone Girl.” Hands down.

8. Any advice for aspiring bloggers?

Don’t straddle the fence like I did for several months. If even the slightest urge exists for you to create a space for yourself and your voice, just do it!

9. Goals for 2015?

To continue my growth as a young woman and a writer, build the Crissi Untangled brand, and live a mentally, physically and spiritually healthy life.

10. Favorite food?

Pretty much any kind of rice.

Now, I’ve come up with 10 questions of my own, and I’m nominating the following 5 ladies: Questions

  1. Alisha of The Alisha Nicole
  2. Drea of The Drea Daily
  3. Marie of GoodLooknOut
  4. Parys of Parys Akira
  5. Yetti of YettiSays

Ladies, please answer the questions below, link back to this post, come up with 10 questions of your own and then nominate 5 other bloggers. 🙂

Ten Questions

  1. What’s the silliest nickname you’ve been given?
  2. What was your first email address?
  3. Relaxed or natural?
  4. Favorite album of 2014?
  5. One of the things on your bucket list?
  6. Brown or white liquor?
  7. Favorite scent?
  8. Worst day of the week?
  9. Favorite movie?
  10. Mac or PC?

Have a great week!

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Looking Ahead to 2015

I’m participating in my first link up ever (yay!), which is hosted by the lovely Alisha, of The Alisha Nicole. Time to set my sights on 2015 and speak greatness into existence!

2015One of the things on my to-do list for this week was to write out my blogging goals. I think it’s important that I have some direction for Crissi Untangled and the things I would like to accomplish with this platform.

But it’s also necessary for me to consider the personal goals I’ll be working on in the new year. I plan to hit the ground running in 2015 and continue my evolution as a young woman, but there are some tangible things I need to tackle in order to keep moving forward on my journey.

My blogging goals for 2015

  1. Improve my social media presence.
    I’m totally content with Twitter; I think it’s the easiest and most user-friendly of the social networks. However, I should branch out and create other accounts to promote the blog. I have my eyes on Instagram, Pinterest and (possibly) Facebook.
  2. Create a working editorial calendar.
    Planning ahead is probably the one surefire way that I can sidestep procrastination. My goal is to be more forward thinking with my blog posts and not just write something when the mood strikes.
  3. Start a weekly and/or monthly series.
    I’m still in the beginning stages of this and will be fleshing it out in the coming weeks, but I’m eager to see where my creativity takes me.

My personal goals for 2015

  1. Eat healthier.
    Not that I eat junk all day everyday, but I could stand to cut back on a few things and substitute some of the other items with cleaner options. I have a carb problem!
  2. Maintain a workout regimen.
    This is so challenging for me. It happens over and over: I’ll start a workout routine and then lose motivation after a few weeks. I also struggle with consistency. That changes in 2015, no excuses!
  3. Read more.
    My book collection is getting out of hand. I need to stop buying books and start reading the ones I already have, and reading them faster. I get lazy with books sometimes.
  4. Practice positive thinking.
    Negative Nancy can’t come with me to 2015. This will take some work, but I have to take better control of my thoughts and let positivity in. I have to stop focusing on the bad things that could happen in any given situation and concentrate on the good. This will tremendously improve my mood.

What is your vision for 2015? Head over to The Alisha Nicole and participate in this awesome link up!

The Alisha Nicole

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Goals for the Week of Dec. 15

Happy Monday, y’all! I can’t believe Christmas is just 10 days away; this year flew right on by.

I’m working on ending the year on a productive note so that when 2015 rolls around I can stay motivated and keep the momentum going.

With that said, here are my goals for this week:

1. Publish two more blog posts.

DeskI know, I know. This was one of my goals a few weeks ago and should actually be a weekly goal. I’m still working on making this happen, which honestly involves me managing my time better. I get lazy in the evenings after working all day! Instead of defaulting to Netflix binge watching when I’m not feeling creative and struggling to come up with anything I think is worth writing about, let alone worth reading, I should be using that time to write until I feel confident in what I have to say. I’m always reading tips on blogging but if you’re reading this and have any pointers, you’re more than welcome to leave a comment below.

2. Write down my 2015 blogging goals.

As I’ve mentioned before, I really would love to see Crissi Untangled blossom into something great. I think the first step of seeing this come to fruition is setting up some goals, of which the main one is ramping up the blog’s social presence and extending its reach. I also want to start a recurring series or two, feature other writers and maybe even begin reviewing natural hair products. So many ideas are always running through my mind and leaving, so it’s best if I capture them when they show up. Maybe I should consider creating a vision board.

3. Begin reading “Bad Feminist: Essays.”

I bought Roxane Gay’s “Bad Feminist: Essays” a few weeks ago and I have yet to turn the first page. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about it and now it’s time for me to crack it open. There will probably be tons of things for me to take away from the book before I even finish it, so expect a “Bad Feminist” related blog post soon! I also have “An Untamed State,” which is Gay’s debut novel, but I’m saving it for later.

What are you up to this week?

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A Belated Toast to Year 25

I turned a quarter-century over the weekend and now that the celebrations are over and I’ve had time to recover, I wanted to share some of the things I’ve reflected on while counting down my bornday.

The last year of my 20-something life has been nothing short of eventful. I’ve been through upsets, resets and everything in between. I’ve questioned my purpose and had my faith tested too many times to count.

I’ve witnessed everything I was sure to be my romantic future shatter before my tear-filled eyes and slither away from my grip. As I’ve said before, I’ve had to repeatedly learn to accept that there are many things that aren’t in my control and I should refocus my energy on the things that are within my reach, like entertaining my interests and pursuing my passions.

“I’m finally realizing that I can be my own greatest obstacle but I’m instead choosing to be my biggest cheerleader.”

Year 24 was me fully stepping out of post-college limbo and into adulthood. Year 24 was me finding my voice and using it unapologetically, without having to walk on eggshells and be concerned with stepping on toes. Year 24 was the start of me claiming power over my existence and the vibes I put out into the world, rather than handing that power over to others who hadn’t thought twice about me and my feelings.

25I’m not anywhere near having it all figured out, but I’m taking time to get better in touch with my needs and wants. I hear constantly how this is the time of my life that is meant to be lived a little selfishly. I have to focus on the things that bring me happiness and cut loose anything that is emotionally draining and counterproductive. I have to stop reciting excuses and grant myself more writing time. Most of all, I have to fall in love with ME.

At least once everyday since my birthday I find myself saying, “Damn, I’m twenty-five.” I can’t quite put into simple words why this age is so significant, but it feels amazing to me. Maybe it’s a combination of finally realizing that I’m not the naïve teen – or even the 20-year-old – I used to be and understanding that I still have more to learn and so much to accomplish. It could be that I’m finally realizing that I can be my own greatest obstacle, but I’m choosing instead to be my biggest cheerleader.

Whatever this feeling is, it makes all the bull I’m subjected to seem like insignificant little sticks in the sand.

Goals for the Week of Dec. 1

Monday arrived rather quickly, didn’t it? Anywhooo, I hope that each and every one of my readers had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and enjoyed spending time with family and friends. I’m still exhausted from traveling but I’m getting right back to the grind.

I took a cue from The Alisha Nicole and decided to share my goals for this week:

1. Finish reading “The Defining Decade.”

I’m such a procrastinator! I’m about 85 percent through Meg Jay’s book, “The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter – And How to Make the Most of Them NowDon't Just Stand There.” It’s a really great read and it has put a lot of things in perspective for me while I navigate life as a 20-something, and helped me realize that I should be taking advantage of opportunities that enhance my “identity capital.” I highly recommend adding this book to your reading list.

2. Write and publish two more posts.

This will be a little challenging. I’m still a newbie to blogging and I’m all over the place right now, but I’m working on establishing some consistency. This time of year is always hectic for me, so I have to work on carving out time and dedicating it solely to the blog. This is an ongoing project that I would love to see blossom into something great.

3. Toast to Year 25.

Turn up!!! My 25th birthday is just five days away and I keep shifting between states of excitement and paranoia, but that’s a post for another day. I’m making plans to let loose a little and celebrate with my lovely friends. I will also use this week to reflect on the things Year 24 taught me.

What are you up to this week?


My First Natural Hair Feature!

Yay!!! I’m super4CHC First Post Screenshot excited to share my first ever post for 4c Hair Chick, an online community and platform for women with Type 4 natural hair.

I’ve been wanting to step outside my comfort zone and write about hair for a while and now I’ve done it. I’m ecstatic about being part of the 4CHC team as a contributor; this is only the beginning!

Here’s the link to my post: 5 reasons why I’m a protective style fanatic. Enjoy!