self-love

My Holiday Wish List

As I found myself getting caught up in the annual holiday hype, I needed to take a moment to recognize that everything I always stress over is secondary – the things that matter most aren’t accessible via cash or credit.Wish List

I was inspired after reading Amber Janae’s post to create a holiday wish list of my own. These are the things I desire that money can’t buy:

  1. Healing
  2. Peace of Mind
  3. Unconditional Love
  4. Closer Family Ties
  5. Consistency
  6. Self-Love
  7. Compassion
  8. Advancement
  9. Discernment
  10. Bangin’ Natural Hair!

What’s on your wish list? Let me know in the comments. Here’s to a happy and healthy holiday season to you and yours!

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A Belated Toast to Year 25

I turned a quarter-century over the weekend and now that the celebrations are over and I’ve had time to recover, I wanted to share some of the things I’ve reflected on while counting down my bornday.

The last year of my 20-something life has been nothing short of eventful. I’ve been through upsets, resets and everything in between. I’ve questioned my purpose and had my faith tested too many times to count.

I’ve witnessed everything I was sure to be my romantic future shatter before my tear-filled eyes and slither away from my grip. As I’ve said before, I’ve had to repeatedly learn to accept that there are many things that aren’t in my control and I should refocus my energy on the things that are within my reach, like entertaining my interests and pursuing my passions.

“I’m finally realizing that I can be my own greatest obstacle but I’m instead choosing to be my biggest cheerleader.”

Year 24 was me fully stepping out of post-college limbo and into adulthood. Year 24 was me finding my voice and using it unapologetically, without having to walk on eggshells and be concerned with stepping on toes. Year 24 was the start of me claiming power over my existence and the vibes I put out into the world, rather than handing that power over to others who hadn’t thought twice about me and my feelings.

25I’m not anywhere near having it all figured out, but I’m taking time to get better in touch with my needs and wants. I hear constantly how this is the time of my life that is meant to be lived a little selfishly. I have to focus on the things that bring me happiness and cut loose anything that is emotionally draining and counterproductive. I have to stop reciting excuses and grant myself more writing time. Most of all, I have to fall in love with ME.

At least once everyday since my birthday I find myself saying, “Damn, I’m twenty-five.” I can’t quite put into simple words why this age is so significant, but it feels amazing to me. Maybe it’s a combination of finally realizing that I’m not the naïve teen – or even the 20-year-old – I used to be and understanding that I still have more to learn and so much to accomplish. It could be that I’m finally realizing that I can be my own greatest obstacle, but I’m choosing instead to be my biggest cheerleader.

Whatever this feeling is, it makes all the bull I’m subjected to seem like insignificant little sticks in the sand.

3 Things I Told Myself This Week

Before my mind fully transitions into weekend mode, I wanted to take a few moments to reflect on what seemed like another whirlwind of a week and the pep talks I needed to get me through.

Here are three things I had to tell myself – in many cases, more than once – over the last few days:

1. You are more than capable. Unapologetically You

Self-doubt is an every-other-day demon in my life. I have to remind myself: Whatever the challenge or task, you have the ability to tackle it. Don’t let fears of the unknown continue to paralyze you. Don’t force yourself into a psychological meltdown by filling your head with worst-case scenarios of failure and fallout. As long as you put forth your best effort, that’s all that matters. You got this.

2. There are things in your life that you cannot control.

Huh?? About half of the time I hear this from my loved ones, it goes in one ear and out the other, which makes it a much harder pill to swallow when I muster up the courage to repeat it to myself. Those who know me well will tell you I’m a bit of a control freak, and even when it’s clear that I have lost the battle for control of any given situation, I still find it difficult to let go. I’m a worrier, but I’m learning and relearning that I can’t worry about the things that are out of my reach.

3. You are awesome!

And not everyone can handle that. You don’t need to exert any energy on convincing someone how wonderful you are. Just be you. Authentically and unapologetically, YOU. Over the past few weeks I’ve been dealing with the unraveling of a relationship that I’ve cherished for years and it’s arguably been one of the most trying and teaching experiences I’ve gone through in my almost 25 years on this earth, and it’s still a struggle. But, as a friend reminded me: “sometimes God puts certain people in our lives for a season, while others are around for a lifetime.” Now is the perfect time for me to be a little selfish and focus on my awesomeness.

I hope at least some of my words have resonated with you in some way. I would love to know: What things did you tell yourself this week? Feel free to comment below.